I Love the Nightlife, I love to Boogie!

Legal Disclaimer: All events hereby described are true and somewhat accurate. Actual time may be varied due to the psychotic state of the observant/participant, but the events are real. (Dum dum dum)

First, a little background: Jay is currently taking two classes for his MBA with only one more next semester to finish and it's online! Reasons for the MBA: 1. Classes are free to employees of the University and 2. Being a student delays paying student loans. Win, win!

So last night Jay's working on a paper in our basement until the wee hours of the morning. I'm good and turn off the light at 11:48 PM. Spencer fuses at 12:40, but I'm determined to have a good night's sleep before Christmas, dang it! I practice tough-love here on out. I stick in the paci, further crying, more paci stuffing and then quiet. Jay, aka Mr. Softie, can't stand the fussing so he turns off the monitor in the basement in order to not hear my cruelty. I go to bed. Sleep...then Spence fussing; "No, you will not be nursed! You're not hungry!" Shove the paci, grind my teeth and get in bed. Between 12:40 and 4ish, I'm up 4 times reacquainting him with his pacifier. Argh!

By the 4th time, Parker was awake and climbing in bed with me. "Where's Daddy? My tummy feels funny, like I'm hungry but not really hungry." "Yeah, whatever. Go to sleep." And Merritt joined up somewhere in here, too. I don't care, just lay there quiet so I can sleep, people! Turn over, more teeth gnashing and blanket tugging.

Then gag, gag, gag. Gag. Bleeeech! "Mommy!" Bleech, bleechhhh. "It won't stop." I jump up, try and turn on the light. Poor Merr's sitting there beside him, thinking "Yucky." I try to buzz Jay through the phone--no answer. "Parker, just keep barfing on the blankets; don't get up! Keep it on the sheets." Jaaaaay!

Jay had been taking an hour-long nap, so he's comatose and not much help at first. Parker's moved to the bathroom and stripped, Merritt's put back in her bed and I strip our bed. Jay, in his undies at 5 AM, is unwilling to go outsite to shake out the blankets. "That stuff won't shake off." "Yeah, but all the bits will be all over my washer and I'll have to pick them all out." "Just wash 'em, I'll pick out the bits." Yeah, right. Is it wrong to just throw away the blanket and sheets and get new ones? I hate picking barf bits out of my washer.

Parker's waiting for a shower and Jay starts shaving--at 5 AM! "I'm already up. Might as well shave before a shower." So they shower, Parker's dressed and put back in his bed. Jay works more on his paper, I think, and then comes to bed, maybe? By this point details are hazy.

Luckily, Spencer sleeps through all the chaos! Hooray! But as Parker whines a bit and climbs into bed, the monster stirs. Argh! It's 5 AM, my tough-love is broken and I nurse him. Merritt and Parker wind up in our bed, again, and Jay leaves for work somewhere around 10:30.

Moral of the story: when your child says his/her tummy hurts, don't just think it's gas or they need to poop. Merr taught us this on Sunday, 5 minutes before we might possibly been on time for church. Bleech! Believe them and move them immediately to a facility safe for hosing down.

How did you sleep last night?


Oh, and our recent family photos can be viewed at my Flickr site on the right, over there---->. And trust me, these were the best of the lot. Why do I have to include my kids in my family photos? Merr, especially, was not feeling it. Have a peek, if you wish, and get a gander at my new 'do. Funny, it looks similar to all of my other 'dos.

Bah Humbug

So here's my Weekend Update, except it's not really the weekend and it's more of a random list from my noggin'.

1. All 3 monkeys are on antibiotics. The older two for no real reason (wack-o doctor) and Spencer for his third ear infection in his right ear. Poor guy.

2. At above doctor's visit, she found a tick in Parker's ear. Well, not really a tick but some other dead bug. A few months ago we'd been at Michael's and he'd started whining and fussing--not new--and slapping his ear--new. Said there was a bug in there scratching. I didn't see anything so I just dribbled some water in there and called it a day. Guess there really was a bug in his ear. So Jay took him to an ENT to get it out with some special thing-a-ma-jig and Parker's so proud of his jar with the dead bug that was in his ear for a month or more. I'm such a good mom!

3. Merritt's potty train still hasn't left the station! I thought I'd try the brilliant idea of throwing a toy in the "trash" every time she peeped (Parker's logical word, since we say pooPed, too) or pooped in her diaper/pull-up/whatever. She has clearly won this war since it became a game for her. Periodically throughout the day she'll casually bring me a toy to put in the "trash" and then continue on her merry way.

4. How come blog surfing (aka finding blogs of random people you knew way, way back linked on other people's blog and you just HAVE to read every single one of their posts to see if their kids are as cute as yours or if they've gained as much weight as you) can literally suck up your whole day? I mean, I'm just innocently clicky clicking and my raving beasts are either gnawing on my limbs or beating each other over a red crayon. Give me my comatose-blog/Internet-addiction time, people!

5. Why must I include my offspring in my yearly Christmas traditions? I'm trying diligently to start and keep a little advent thing going so Parker and Merr will stop thinking that Christmas is about Santa coming and bringing you everything your greedy heart desires. Each night I read a story from an advent book Jessica (my much older sister) made me years ago (skip the song; takes too long), read a story from the basket of Christmas storybooks (put away every January so they don't get sick of the books throughout the year) and then read a scripture and put a piece of our foam nativity scene together. During this time, meant to be warm and loving, kindling true feelings of the Savior in our hearts, Spencer's either fussing or yacking, Merritt and Parker are fighting over who gets to put on the foam piece and who gets to pick the book and who gets to sit on which side of me. Do you realize how peaceful, quiet (alright, and boring and pointless) it would be if my monkeys were put in bed first? It's the season of peace and love for your fellowman, so hug your brother/sister or you're in trouble!

6. Lastly, why must my children put on their best brat personas every year at this time? They know they're supposed to be good for goodness sake, but who cares? Santa comes anyway and I want this and this and this and gimme gimme and waaaa! I wish I had a nickle for every time Parker says "I wish I didn't have such a mean mommy." or "I want a new mommy." Truly warms my heart.

And since my adoring fans are clamoring for a glimpse of my new looks, I'll post a photo just as soon as we get them from the photographer. Taking pictures with your kids, now that's a post for another time. Thank goodness it's only once a year.