From the Trenches

I've been "commanded" by an unnamed in-law to update my blog 'cause she's tired at looking at my 5 AM Reflections. Uh, sorry, but my life is really just a repeat of those occurrences over and over and over and... So as follows:

-After 8-9 (depending on who's counting) ear infections from October to late February, #3 got tubes in late March. I'm asked "Oh, he must feel so much better; does he act different?" Um, no, but he wasn't really a grumpy baby before. As long as he was well-fed and snuggled, he was content. My secret hope was his horrible night-time sleeping habits were due to earaches and this would be corrected with tubes. No. Unfortunately, his bad sleeping habits were due to babyness on his part and exhaustion/laziness on our part and I get to correct them. Now. At the ripe old age 1-year old on the 30th of this month. And with the freedom of weaning looming.

-Leading to: I haven't had more than 4-5 hours straight of sleep in well over a year (middle of the night pee breaks included). College friends who are familiar with my love of and addiction to sleep, naps, dozing and rest in general will be quite amused. Go ahead and laugh, I'll wait.

-On Tuesday, my only day of partial freedom (where #1 & #2 are in school/preschool for about 2 hours at the same time) this week, since somehow #2's Methodist preschool was closed on Good Friday (I thought only Catholics did that.) and I'd have no partial freedom then, I was messed over by the Fates. We're running late, SURPRISE, since Her Royal Highness Princess didn't want THAT shirt, no to THOSE panties, no to the potty, no, no, no, NO! Preschool starts at 9:30; we leave the house at 9:30. Tick, tick, tick into my "alone" time, or as alone as I get with #3 around. Zipping along in our oh-so-zippy Ford minivan (see next point) I turn left, left, left and then before my right HRH Princess starts crying, "Mommy, Spen-suh fwew up. Mommy!" So I whip into a gas station, grab a wet wipe to dab his chin and hop out. Tick, tick, tick. Yank open the door only to find that Mount Vesuvius has erupted all over my son in his car seat! Clearly 1 little wet wipe is hopeless against these ruins. With much less zip we return home. HRH waits in the van, wanting no part of cleanup duties. First I unbuckle #3 and sit him on the ground. Unknown matter is all over his coat, his shirt, onesie, pants, socks and shoes. It attaches itself to my coat and shirt and a large puddle remains in his carseat. Tick, tick, tick. I carry in the carseat and leave it for later, carry him in and strip him, throw my coat and shirt onto the stinky, sticky pile and toss him in the tub. Quick wash (damnit, I forgot the cotton balls and vaseline to protect his new tubes!) and dry him. Try and dress him while he whines and licks/gnaws on my bra--Not Now, Spencer! New shirt, new jacket for me and we're out the door. HRH Princess goes in #1's seat, #3 goes in her seat and I toss in a random booster saved for whenever #1 gains weight and hits 40 pounds-he can use it for today. We're now off, again, and HRH Princess gets to preschool at 10:30, only an hour late. I get a bit before I pick up #1 at 11:36 at kindergarten so I go shopping for ME.

-About a month or so ago, yet another quirk revealed itself in our lovely Ford minivan. I was turning right to enter the minivan caravan for HRH's preschool, late obviously, and obediently blinking right. When I straightened up, I was blinking left. Huh? I didn't notice until after I dump off HRH and I can't get it to stop blinking left. Scratch head again. After a fiddle or two with the lever it cuts off. Zip, zip, zip along. Next time, I turn left and keep blinking left. A few fiddles won't fix it and then Ford started beeping at me that I've left the blinker on. Uh, Duh, I know it's on! It won't turn off! I almost break off the lever and it still won't stop blinking left. I turn right and it blinks both ways. I push my flashers button and the right blinker turns off but the left blinker is eternal, along with the beep, beep, beep. Good thing I'm only running errands all morning. After 3-4 days of the beloved quirk, it stops as suddenly and mysteriously as it appeared. At least, until today. We go to my mom's, an hour away, and Jay drives. Lefty starts blinking about 10 minutes before we get there, Jay fumes and I laugh. "Dear, you've left the blinker on." He he he. I get to drive home and blinky left joined when I started the van. Yeah! I missed you while we hunted eggs and ate chocolate. I drove all the way home, 70 miles, with my left blinking at me and Ford beeping me: DUMmy, DUMmy, DUMmy, you're blinker's on. So the next time you're driving down the interstate and sneer at the stupid driver who forgot to turn off his blinker, think of me and give him the benefit of the doubt. He could be stuck in his own little hell with a broken blinker and a beeping car.

Just keeping it real.